How Much to Tip Wedding Vendors in the US: Who Gets a Tip, How Much and When

Nobody can tell you what you owe in tips at an American wedding, because legally you owe nothing unless your contract says so. What exists is a set of customs, repeated with small variations in wedding guides from coast to coast. The ranges below come from two of them, the wedding directory Here Comes The Guide and Boston Magazine’s wedding pages, and they are a starting point to adjust to your budget and to the service you actually get.

Before any number, read your contracts. Here Comes The Guide notes that gratuity is often already included in venue, catering and transportation contracts, and when it is, no extra tip is needed.

Three rules before you count the cash

• A service charge is not the same as a gratuity. A service charge can pay for anything from venue maintenance to administrative costs; unless the bill says “gratuity”, ask how that money is used before deciding whether to tip.
• Owners are optional, employees are customary. The usual logic is that an owner already set a price they consider fair, while their staff don’t set their own pay. Here Comes The Guide still suggests tipping an owner who does far more than you expected.
• Unless it is in the contract, it is never mandatory. A detailed review, permission to use your photos in a portfolio or a handwritten note also count as thanks.

While you have the contracts open, check the other clauses that cost money later, such as overtime, cake-cutting and corkage fees: our list of wedding vendor red flags covers what to look for before you sign.

Customary tips, vendor by vendor

The two guides disagree in places, which tells you how loose these customs are. Boston Magazine puts delivery crews at $5 to $10 a head where Here Comes The Guide goes up to $20, depending on how complex the setup is: a tent is not a cake box. Boston Magazine treats hair and makeup as an expected 20 percent, and music as optional but common.

Who usually gets nothing, and who gets a gift instead

Business owners top the list. A photographer, florist or planner who runs their own company has already set their price, and both guides treat a tip to them as optional. Assistants and second shooters are different: Here Comes The Guide calls tipping them considerate.

For a planner, Boston Magazine suggests a nice gift or a few hundred dollars, and permission to use a few photos of your wedding in their portfolio, handed over at the end of the reception or sent by mail. When money is short, Here Comes The Guide lists other thanks that cost little: a detailed five-star review online, a good bottle of wine, a handwritten note.

The officiant: donation, tip, or nothing

The officiant is the one case where cash can be the wrong answer. Many religious officiants won’t accept a cash tip; the custom is a donation to the church, synagogue or house of worship, from $100 to $500 according to Here Comes The Guide, and $500 or more according to Boston Magazine. A non-religious officiant may receive an optional $50 to $100, and a small gift is a good idea when the officiant is a friend.

Some public officials can’t accept anything. California’s Family Code says that members of the Legislature, holders of elected city or county office and certain city clerks who perform marriages may not accept compensation while in office, according to the Santa Cruz County Clerk’s summary of the law. If a judge or an elected official marries you, ask what is allowed before you hand over an envelope; a thank-you letter is always safe.

For a courthouse ceremony, the office sets the fee. In Las Vegas, where commercial chapels compete for couples, Clark County advises asking for a bill showing all fees and recommended tips before the vows, so the tip is a known number rather than a surprise at the door.

How much to budget: an example

Take an illustrative wedding with a $12,000 food and drink bill and no gratuity in the contract, $900 for hair and makeup, an $800 car service, two deliveries of two people each, a DJ and a church officiant. Using the guides’ ranges:

• Catering staff at 15–20%: $1,800 to $2,400
• Hair and makeup at 15–20%: $135 to $180
• Transportation at 15–20%: $120 to $160
• Delivery crews, four people at $5–$20: $20 to $80
• DJ: $50 to $150
• Donation to the church: $100 to $500

That is roughly $2,200 to $3,500, most of it on catering. If your caterer already includes a gratuity, the total drops to between about $400 and $1,100. Add the line to your budget early, next to the wedding catering prices it depends on; if the total worries you, budget wedding ideas lists savings that guests don’t notice.

How to hand tips out without thinking about it

1. A week beforeList every vendor, mark whether gratuity is included, and decide each amount.
2. A few days beforeGet the cash, and put each tip in an envelope labeled with the name and the role.
3. The day beforeGive the envelopes to one trusted person: your planner, the best man, a parent. Envelopes for delivery crews can go to the venue coordinator or catering manager.
4. On the dayHair and makeup after the service, deliveries on arrival, attendants at the start, music and catering at the end, drivers after the last ride.
5. After the weddingFor anyone you missed, or a photographer whose session ended before the party, send a check with a thank-you note, as Boston Magazine suggests.

Boston Magazine assigns most envelopes to the best man: the officiant’s at the end of the ceremony, the musicians’ and the caterer’s at the end of the reception, the drivers’ after the last ride. Whoever you choose, give them the list along with the envelopes, so nobody tips the same person twice.

Timing has a purpose in two cases. Here Comes The Guide suggests tipping valets and coat check attendants at the start of the evening, so they can tell well-meaning guests that the hosts have already taken care of it. For catering staff, it gives the choice of the end of the reception or, to set the tone, the start. Boston Magazine adds that if the final catering bill wasn’t settled before the day, a parent or the best man hands the envelope to the catering manager.

Hair and makeup tips cover the whole team: if the same stylists do the wedding party’s hair, Here Comes The Guide counts them in. Decide beforehand whether you tip for everyone or each person tips for their own service, and tell the stylists, so nobody is left wondering at the door.

One custom applies to your guests, not your vendors: they shouldn’t be asked to tip. If the bar has a tip jar, ask the bartenders to remove it and cover them yourselves.