Wedding planning timeline: what to book, and when, from 12 months to the day

The planning checklists you find online list eighty tasks, from “choose a theme” to “pack tissues”. They’re thorough, and that’s the problem: everything looks equally important, and you end up weighing favours against the caterer on a Saturday afternoon.

In practice, about a dozen decisions drive everything else. They come in an order, because each one depends on the one before, and each has a date after which it becomes expensive or impossible. The rest can be done in whatever order you like.

12 to 10 months: the three decisions that drive everything

The budget, the guest list and the date. In that order, and before visiting anything: a venue you fall in love with before you have a budget is a crush you’ll pay for by cutting everything else.

1. Set a realistic budgetA range, not a round number. It tells you how many people you can invite and what kind of venue to look at. The calculator gives you a ballpark in thirty seconds.
2. Draft a first guest listBy household rather than by person. It sets the size of the venue, and half the budget depends on it.
3. Pick a season, then two or three datesOne date makes you dependent on the first venue that’s free. Three give you room to negotiate.
4. Book the venueThe booking is what fixes the date. Read the contract before signing: finishing time, corkage, whether the caterer is imposed, cancellation terms.

10 to 8 months: the suppliers who can’t be in two places

A photographer, a band or DJ, a celebrant only do one wedding a day. The good ones book early, and June Saturdays go first. It’s also the moment to send save the dates to guests coming from far away: they need to book leave or flights.

• Caterer, if the venue doesn’t provide one: book now, the tasting comes later
• Photographer and videographer: compare complete weddings, not a highlight reel of ten photos
• Music: band or DJ, and check they’ve played your venue or will visit it
• Accommodation: hold a block of rooms near the venue for guests, before another wedding does

8 to 5 months: outfits and invitations

A made-to-order dress often takes six to nine months from order to final alteration. A suit takes less, but alterations take time too. Start trying things on now, even if you don’t buy straight away.

It’s also time to prepare the invitation and, above all, what sits behind it: addresses, timings, hotels, the RSVP deadline. An invitation only has room to say “you’re invited”; the rest is better on a page online that you can update without reprinting.

4 to 3 months: invitations out, legal side sorted

Send the invitations three to four months ahead, with an RSVP deadline six weeks before the wedding. Earlier, people forget to reply; later, they’ve already made other plans.

On the legal side, in England and Wales you give notice of marriage at your local register office at least 29 days before the ceremony, and within the 12 months before it. Book that appointment now. If you’re marrying abroad, in France for instance, the rules and the lead times are different: we’ve written a whole guide on it.

• Menu tasting with the caterer
• Rings: allow a few weeks for making, more for engraving or an unusual size
• First draft of the day’s timeline, with the venue and the caterer
• Hire whatever is missing: crockery, furniture, outdoor lighting

2 months to 1 month: replies and the seating plan

Chase the silent households once at two months, then a second time ten days before the deadline. Six weeks out, you close RSVPs. Not before: the seating plan only works with final numbers, otherwise you do it three times.

The caterer usually wants final numbers three weeks before. That figure is binding: anything you add afterwards is often charged at full price, and anything you remove is usually still charged.

The last two weeks

1. 2 weeks beforeSend every supplier the final timeline, the exact address, their arrival time and the number of the person to call on the day, who should not be either of you.
2. 1 week beforeFinal fitting, timings confirmed with everyone, envelopes ready for any supplier paid on the day.
3. 3 days beforeUpdate the guest page: last shuttle time, weather, directions. It’s the last change everyone will see.
4. The day beforeDrop off what you can at the venue, hand the emergency kit to a friend, and go to bed early. Whatever isn’t done won’t be, and that’s fine.

What can really wait

Table decorations, favours, the guest book, the drinks reception playlist. They’re lovely things to prepare, which is exactly why people start them too early. They don’t depend on anything and nothing depends on them: keep them for the evenings when you want to work on the wedding without deciding anything.