What to wear to a wedding as a guest: dress codes, colours and mistakes to avoid

What you wear to a wedding is mostly decided before: when you read the invitation. It says nearly everything, and what it doesn’t say can be guessed from the season, the place and the time. Here is how not to get it wrong.

What not to wear

• White, ivory, cream and very pale champagne: the one real prohibition
• A dress that looks like a wedding dress, even in colour
• Clothes you have never worn and that pinch: you’ll be in them for twelve hours
• Thin heels if the wedding is on a lawn, in a garden or a gravel courtyard
• Jeans or sportswear, unless the couple have expressly asked for it

Reading the dress code

If the invitation gives one, follow it to the letter. If not, go by the time and place: ceremony at a registry office at 2 pm and a reception in a manor house, dressy; an outdoor wedding on a farm, smart but relaxed.

• Smart casual or “your best”: a simple dress, smart trousers, a suit without a tie
• Cocktail: knee or midi dress, suit with or without a tie
• Formal or evening wear: a long or very dressy dress, a dark suit and tie
• Black tie: a long dress, a tuxedo and a bow tie
• Rustic chic: natural fabrics, soft colours, shoes that cope with grass

Practical advice

Shoes

They decide your evening. On grass or gravel, choose block heels or wedges. Put a flat pair in a bag for the dance floor: it’s the move everyone regrets not making.

Weather, heat, evening

A wedding lasts twelve hours and runs from afternoon to night. Take a shawl or jacket for the evening, even in summer, and something you can dance in without overheating. For an outdoor wedding, keep something for a shower.

Hats and headwear

At a formal daytime wedding in the UK, hats and fascinators are still common. If the invitation says nothing about them, they’re optional: look at the dress code and the venue, and ask someone close to the couple if you’re unsure.

A religious ceremony

In some churches, mosques or synagogues you cover your shoulders and sometimes your knees or head. Take a shawl: you can take it off afterwards. If in doubt, ask someone close to the couple.

By type of wedding

• Register office or town hall, then lunch: a smart day outfit, a dress or a suit, nothing too long or too formal
• Country house or manor: the most classic dress code in the UK, often with hats for the daytime ceremony
• Barn or farm: smart but relaxed, natural fabrics, and shoes that survive grass, gravel and a few steps of mud
• Beach or seaside: light colours, flat sandals or espadrilles, and something warm for when the wind picks up
• Winter: velvet, wool, deep colours, a proper coat, and tights or socks you can dance in
• Abroad: check the climate, the dress code and any religious customs, and pack the outfit in your hand luggage

Colours and the photos

You’ll be in the group photo that hangs in the couple’s hallway for years. Definite colours photograph better than very pale ones, which can look washed out next to the bride, and plain fabrics age better than loud prints or logos. If the wedding party has a colour, avoid wearing exactly the same shade: you don’t want to be mistaken for a bridesmaid.

For her, for him: what almost always works

• For her: a midi dress in a definite colour (green, blue, terracotta, powder pink), a wrap, shoes you can walk in
• For him: a well-cut suit, a shirt you can breathe in, polished shoes, a tie or bow tie with some character
• For both: one accessory that feels like you, and an outfit you’ve already tried sitting, standing and dancing