When to send wedding invitations, and when to chase
Too early and people forget to reply. Too late and they’ve made other plans. The timeline that works, and the two reminders that are enough.
· 4 min read
3–4 months
Key figureahead for invitations, with a reminder three weeks before the RSVP deadline.
The usual rule, invitations six to eight weeks ahead, comes from a time when nobody booked flights for a wedding. Today it only works if you’ve sent something much earlier.
The timeline that works
- 9 to 12 months ahead: save the dates, for anyone who needs to book flights or holiday
- 3 to 4 months ahead: the invitation itself, with the link to all the details
- 2 months ahead: a first reminder, only to households who haven’t replied
- 6 weeks ahead: the RSVP deadline
- 3 weeks ahead: final numbers to the caterer
The RSVP deadline isn’t a formality: the caterer orders on those numbers, and anything you add afterwards, you pay full price for.
Why people don’t reply
Rarely out of rudeness. Usually because they opened the invitation in the hallway, thought “I’ll reply tonight”, and that evening something else happened. The more effort a reply takes (finding the card, looking up an address, writing an email), the less likely it is to arrive.
A reply that takes one minute from a phone, for the whole household at once, changes response rates far more than one more reminder.
Chasing without nagging
Two reminders are enough: one at two months, one ten days before the deadline. Send them only to the households who haven’t replied; chasing everyone annoys the people who did things properly.
And one survival rule: never chase in the family group chat. A public reminder makes people uncomfortable and doesn’t get more replies.
The aunt without a smartphone
There are always two or three. Plan to call them, note their reply yourself, and don’t try to convert them. A tool that doesn’t allow for them will cost you more time than it saves.